Germaine Greer....Crikey!

GERMAINE GREER…OH DEAR.

Germaine Greer has come out within hours of Steve Irwin’s tragic death, criticizing the Aussie legend’s manner in which he handled himself, and the animals he came in contact with as “cruel” and “embarrassing” to all Australians. Greer labeled him a “self deluded animal tormentor” - that he told the world how dangerous the animals were and then tormented them. All this coming from a woman who would think it was sexist if I excused myself to use the male toilet!

Oh Dear, Germaine Greer. You really have shown what an out of touch (U.K. based) old bitter little lady you are. Don’t you realize that Steve Irwin was a character, an extension of his own character? Of course he hammed it up little for television, like another Aussie icon - Dame Edna Everidge, but you don’t go around saying that she is actually a man do you? It’s called “showbiz” darls. You could have aired those opinions when he was alive, but I suppose a sheila like you wouldn’t get the publicity then would you? Do you want to know what “Un-Australian” is darls? “Un- Australian” is someone who sits back (in the U.K) on their little rocking chair, speaking ill of a great Australian character (based in Australia) who has just passed, and was educating young children and adults around the world about animals, their habitat and Conservation.

Now Miss Greer, let’s talk about you for a moment. It seems you made some riveting television yourself, remember? Yes that’s right, it was “Celebrity Big Brother” in the U.K. wasn’t it? Oh that’s right, you walked out on the show after four days citing psychological cruelty, and that the contestants had “hidden agendas”. Agendas, yes - hidden, no. You see, they all were struggling B-grade celebrities and wanted the publicity, but the others didn’t hide it. We all have agendas in life Miss Greer. What was yours? It wasn’t the forty thousand pounds you were to receive for doing the show that resulted in a squabble with the producers after breaking your agreement was it?

This is where the story turns full-circle. You see Miss Germaine “oh dear” Greer has a property in the lovely Queensland rainforest that she was struggling to keep, a whole 125,000 acres in fact. Now I know a bloke who does the same sort of thing in an area not that far from your rainforest - in fact he was a spokesperson for many conservation organizations around the world, and he was buying up as much land as he could to make the animal world a better place, but I’m sure you have met him through all of those many conservation organizations you are a member of Miss Greer!

You see sometimes if you had have looked at some of the great things this Australian character was doing you may have thought that you had something in common. And maybe, just maybe…you would have found a friend. I feel sorry for the native fauna in your unhappy rainforest, however I’m sure most of them would have legged-it, slithered, and flown the hell out of there a long time ago, suffering from “psychological torment” (apart from a couple of pissed-off female kangaroos burning their pouches, and a team of really pissed-off black-widow spiders!)

Just remember Germaine “Oh Dear” Greer - when you are sitting on your rocking chair knitting yourself the world’s biggest beanie to fit around your big scone, on your 125,000 acre rainforest, and big a six-foot long “Morelia Viridis” (that’s a Queensland green carpet python) slithers across your feet - CRIKEY! Don’t panic darls, it’s non-venomous. I know…because a great Australian bloke called Steve told me so.

Oh …and I nearly forgot Germaine…How are the book sales going?

R.I.P STEVE IRWIN.